Lets explores how the mind influences our physiology, and how our perceptions create our world, but before that, our world influences the creation of our perceptions. When we help our clients to rewrite early messages, not changing what happened, but understanding it as a necessary decision for survival, we can change our current perceptions and behaviors.
By learning how to use a combination of tools and techniques to educate and reach our clients, we enhance our capacity to reach them. At the most basic, fully accepting and embracing compassion for our clients with unconditional positive regard — which requires looking at our own self-judgments and wounds — opens up a new and much deeper capacity for healing with our clients.
Get in touch with your inner child, Your inner child is the part of you that forms between the ages of 0-8 years old. All it really needs right now is love. Piling on more shame, blame and guilt isn’t going to help. Your inner child is already distrustful.
It’s time for you to start building bridges.
The worst form of abuse is emotional. If you’ve ever felt you’ve had a need go unmet as a child, that is abuse in the form of neglect. It might sound extreme. But it’s true. If you had a parent who was never there for you, it creates a feeling of abandonment, which can feed into all your future relationships.
If this continues over an extended period, you can develop negative belief systems, which fall into several themes. These are:
I am bad
I am helpless
I am a hindrance
I am not worthy
I am nothing
When you’re exposed to trauma at such a young age, it sticks. You absorb everything like a sponge. Here are some of the most common:
Low Self-Esteem
Emotional impairments
Eating Disorders
Self-Harm
Poor Body Image
Problem Enforcing Healthy Boundaries
Being a Bully
Displaying a Victimhood Mentality
Problems forming intimate relationships
Addiction Problems
Co-dependency Issues
Acknowledge that you’ve been ignoring its needs and start building bridges.
In beginning, you need to say are things like:
I’m sorry I’ve been away for so long.
I’m sorry I’ve neglected you in the past.
I’m here now.
It’s ok
I love you.
Writing Letter to Your Inner Child
This is an extension of speaking to your inner child. If you feel like you’d like to express yourself more, putting pen to paper is a great way create a bond with your inner child. You want to write this letter from the perspective of the loving adult you are now. You could even choose to write as a fictional character who exhibits all the traits you think your inner child needs in their life. You can really have some fun with this exercise. But come to it from a place empathy. You might even want the first letter you write to be an apology.
Writing a Letter from Your Inner Child to Yourself
By reversing the perspective and writing from your inner child, you can uncover a lot about yourself. But it’s advisable that you try the other letter first. Writing from your inner child might take a little practice. It’s coming from a different part of your inner being. The subconscious. A good way in this exercise is not to overthink it. See if you can get into a mode of automatic writing. Once you start flowing, you’ll the information flows through you. In fact, you’ll be surprised at what comes out. But remember you need to be honest with the process. You can’t self-censor. It all needs to come out.
Create Loving Affirmations for Your Inner Child
Affirmations are one of the best ways to reparent yourself. They’re a big step up from simply speaking to your inner child. And it’s where you start doing the real work. Here’s where you get specific about the changes you want to create in your life. You can use the material from the letter-writing exercises to steer you in the right direction. They’ll provide a wealth of insight. Because you want to go beyond simple dialogue. You want to reverse your negative thought-constructs and create a better relationship with yourself. And you do that by rewiring your subconscious. You want to begin each affirmation with, ‘I AM.’ Doing this connects you with your heart-space and allows you to manifest these changes much quicker. Here are a few examples:
I am more connected than I have ever been to my inner child.
I am grateful for the presence of my inner child.
I am at peace with my inner child.
Notice, the phrasing of these is different than the examples mentioned in speaking with your inner child. You shouldn’t choose one over the other, as each have their own purpose.
In our session we dive deep to examine the roles for your healing We learn in the session the childhood aspects of attachment, trauma, and the role of societal stress. You’ll learn techniques rooted in compassion and understanding to help you recognize and understand how your own wounds, hidden self-judgments, and perceptions can interfere with our capacity for joy. Together we deepen understanding and reach even the most difficult events. You already lived your trauma we go back for understanding. Hugs
The level of help you receive is equal to the level of truth you tell. If you want 100% help, you’ll need to tell 100% truth.
Mark Lundholm
