Working with clients has helped me discover that mistakes don’t make you broken or unworthy. That’s how you gain wisdom. I discovered that it’s okay to leave a toxic relationship. That it is okay to feel broken … for a while. That it’s healthy and necessary to forgive yourself. And it is important to forgive the other person. I discovered that it is okay to pick yourself up, stop living in the past, focus on the future, and live a happy, healthy, and loving life. I realized that it is okay not to live to other’s expectations and to live a life that is true to you.
I been on a journey of discovery and understanding towards self acceptance and even self-love. My search for answers lead me to my purpose in life as an author and coach of FREEDOM. I never would have got here if I continued to hold on to the regret and pain of the past.
When you let go of the charged emotions of the past, you let go of the pain, regret, shame, and attachment to those events. You don’t forget them, but they no longer control you. THIS IS AN AMAZING FEELING
The past has shaped you, but it does not define you. You get to choose who you are and who you will be tomorrow. The power is already in you, so let’s tap into that.
2 types of the past:
There are two types of the past, external and internal.
External is an event or a person that happened to you. Something that you had little or no control over. For example, an abusive parent, a tragic accident, childhood poverty, or the pandemic we are currently experiencing. These are things you could not have a strong influence to change.
Internal is something caused or influenced by you. These are mistakes you made, things you wish you didn’t do, or things you know you should have done, but didn’t. Examples are, an argument that you said something mean and hateful, bad or destructive behaviors, living a life and a lie you don’t want because you don’t want to cause conflict with your family.
How to let go:
Letting go of the emotions and attachment to the past happens in three basic steps.
1 – Accept the past event for what it was.
Not better, not worse, but look at it with the perspective as if you were a 3rd party person. (This is good to do for the present as well).
2 – Forgive
Easier said than done, but here is a simple technique.
Think of the event and repeat this phrase, “I forgive you, please forgive me, I am sorry, thank you.”
Keep repeating this phrase until you feel the pain easing and leaving your body. It sounds silly, but it is incredibly powerful and effective.
This is an effective way to forgive the other person, accept an event that was out of your control, to forgive yourself and the part you played in the event, and move towards gratitude for the experience.
3 -Focus on the future
Focus on who you want to be and what you want in your life. Do research, get experience, and do the work to create the life you truly want. This of course is the lifestyle you want, but also the person you want to be.
We all make mistakes. This simple three step process will help you forgive those mistakes, forgive others for their mistakes, accept life as it is, let go of the regret, shame and pain, plus allow your inner strength to show up and lead you to a better life.
The greatest journey is the journey within. When you do the inner work, everything falls into place. You will no longer be held back or hesitate because of fear, your past, other’s opinions.
When you let go of the pain and attachment to the past, you open space for who you are meant to be. You unleash the power that is already within you. And you will discover an inner peace and happiness that you have never felt before.
To letting go … and become who you are meant to be, Hugs
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