Open Up & share feeling!
Throughout history, men have functioned in society and work as protector and provider, and as a result, many of them learned to shut down their feelings. In essence, getting the job done was more important than taking the time to explore feelings. So to cope with the pain of battle and protecting their families, men often learned to turn off their feelings. When they stopped feeling pain, however, they also lost their ability to feel pleasure and love. While this can happen with both men and women, we most often see in counseling that men have trouble opening up and sharing their feelings — they do, however, feel and connect when they’re engaging in physical intimacy. While a woman needs to feel already connected to engage in physical intimacy, a man often feels connected WHEN he is engaging in physical intimacy. These are two very different views and the key is making sure both male and female get their needs meet.
I teach my clients to imagine – to see – to really feel what it feels like to have a loving relationship with someone who knows, with unshakable conviction, that you are absolutely lovable and amazing. Someone that sees all the goodness in you. Someone who appreciates you, sees how amazing you are, how loyal you are, how loving and kind you are, and who gives these things right back to you, freely and openly.
You can see yourself with this person someone who believes in you. Who accepts you exactly as you are. And you believe in them. And you can see yourself loving and believing in each other. Respecting each other. Respecting your relationship. Feeling secure about yourself. And feeling secure about the relationship. You know you can only love another person to the degree that you love yourself. And another person can only love you to the degree that they love themselves. And knowing this only makes you want to be even more lovable towards your own self and others.
You absolutely radiate love and lovability from inside of you, like a bright ray of light, it emanates from your body, it flows through your veins. You are the right person. What you want, absolutely wants you and is moving towards you, and you are moving towards it.